22 September 2011

The Dead Imago

He woke in a start. His heart raced. Had it been a dream or was this a nightmare that even daylight could not chase away? The first sign of where he was came by way of the assault on his sense of smell. A miasma of stale alcohol and tobacco odors hung about the chamber and made the air heavy and difficult to breathe. He felt nauseous.

What sort of life could he lead if the dark deed loomed over him everywhere he went? During the day, he felt he was being followed. It could be an agent of vengeance or retribution. It could be an agent of the law. Maybe it was both. At night, he was tormented by lurking images and crouching shadows.

He had meant no harm; events simply got out of hand. His only lacuna is a failure of decisiveness, but that's not a crime. He didn't know whether to oscitate or laugh out loud. If only he could do it over again. But wait, how absurd! He caught himself imagining a magical and serendipitous turn of events, or the unfolding of some felicitous synchronicity, as the most plausible resolution to his horrific plight.

Painting: Caravaggio (1571 - 1610), The Sacrifice of Isaac

This piece of fiction was inspired by the Writer's Campaign Second Flash Fiction Challenge:

Write a blog post in 200 words or less, excluding the title.
The post should:
* include the word "imago" in the title
* include the following 4 random words: "miasma," "lacuna," "oscitate," "synchronicity"

30 comments:

  1. This was well written and very mysterious, makes me want to know more about the character.

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  2. I like the juxtaposition between "romantic/heady" language and more "common" language. Makes the use of the assigned words more believable to me. Nice job!

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  3. I like the language! Makes me want to know more about the character, too.

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  4. Awesome imagery! Your use of those tricky words was perfect. Flowed wonderfully.

    Great job, Gary! :)

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  5. Absolutely LOVED this! Def made me want to read more! ; )

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  6. I'm so impressed by the people who can make this look simple. You used those words as though they made sense to you all along.

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  7. I love how you camouflaged the challenge words with other less common words! Also, this piece leaves me wanting to know about this character and what he's done. Great job!

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  8. Very well done. The words flowed beautifully. You made it feel natural. I, too, want to know what the protagonist has done and the whole story behind it.

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  9. Lovely mix of poetic wording and mysterious imagery. What has he done that cannot be undone? Why would someone seek vengence against him? Good questions after reading your entry, Gary. ~ Nadja

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  10. Jen hit the nail on the head! By not having these uncommon words stand out, this piece reads very smoothly. Great job.

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  11. Awesome piece! I love how your words flow effortlessly. I'm also curious to see what happens next. Your MC is flawed, yet completely human. Very interesting.

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  12. I absolutely want to know what he did that he feels so badly about. Very well done! I'm #34!

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  13. Yeah, what they all said. You know your language and use it like a pro. Couldn't ask for better. I think I've now followed you everywhere I could.

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  14. Oops. I meant to ask if he's already in hell for whatever he did, and tell you I'm number 52, very flighty compared to yours.

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  15. This was really well-written, and I'm definitely intrigued! What did he do exactly, or do I want to know? :p I liked this.

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  16. Hi Gary, I enjoyed this very much. I couldn't help but wonder if the character may somehow be sufferring from either schizophrenia or another form of mental illness? Nicely done! I always enjoy seeing the paintings you incorporate into your blog posts;)

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  17. Makes me want to know what he did!

    The Write Soil

    My entry is #50.

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  18. Love your take on the words and the dark story. So noir. I wrote about how I couldn't write. I'm number 62.

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  19. Great use of imagery and emotion. I was intrigued to find out exactly what he'd done.

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  20. Mystical and full of strong imagery. Well done!

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  21. I like the gothic feel, and the picture helps.

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  22. Great job. I want to know more about the character too.

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  23. Thanks to everyone for the very supportive and complimentary comments.

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  24. Great suspense in this piece. I could feel the foreboding that hung over him. You made the use of the challenge words seem effortless. And I loved the painting. All in all, well done.

    My entry is 128 if you want to have a peek.

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  25. Great job! I didn't even notice the challange words as they blended in with ease!

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  26. Oooh what came first, the picture or the story? Great imagery you created.

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  27. Great job! There is more where this came from, I am sure.

    #188

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  28. What a great picture and a wonderful story to go with it. Well done!

    #189

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